


Akatsuki no Deidara no Tobitoraburu!!.. Or, Epos of Trash Shinobi

by RadioAkatsuki



Category: Naruto
Genre: Explicit Language, Gen, POV First Person, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23377909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioAkatsuki/pseuds/RadioAkatsuki
Summary: Evil business is rewarding, yet demanding.For a mysterious reason, we got the memories of one of the Akatsuki members, Deidara, in our hands. His own story began about 18-19 years ago, however the Universe decided to land us into that point of time when he began working with a faceless guy named Tobi.Although Deidara is a part of an elite criminal organisation, he is still young and unaware that any kind of logic isn't an option in the Shinobi World. Well, he himself forgets it sometimes, but only because he is an artist, and logic follows him instead of him following it... No biggie there, really. Now, with a fidget like Tobi who has more fun than done, he'll need to put up both with his new comrade and working for the most evil corporation ever existed.Tobi and Deidara rush on the mission to the Country of Bronze. It's crawling with bandits, tons of trash, and one pissed old man who'd like to see Akatsuki on his dinner plate. Also, there is some guy named Tetsuya, also known as Raccoon Shinobi...
Kudos: 3





	Akatsuki no Deidara no Tobitoraburu!!.. Or, Epos of Trash Shinobi

❇︎ **Tobi from Akatsuki!!** ❇︎

* * *

It’s impossible to please your comrade in everything, even if the friendly relations have become very strong. Let everything go prompt at first, like clockwork, but then, sooner or later, there will be reasons why a conflict will arise between the two.

Not that I thought the theme of human relationships to be a worthwhile and mysterious matter, but if you ask me whether I am satisfied with my life and the people around me, you won’t get a clear answer at all.

The only thing I'm sure of is that it all ends one day. Friendship, love and stuff like that looks best in the list of things that quickly dissolve in time. Day by day, I realized that nothing eternal exists in this world.

Yeah, by the way, there is an opinion that in the world of shinobi teams are formed according to the crosswise principle. I’ll explain – in order to balance the abilities of all members of the brigade, they select a team that, on the one hand, does not make the team lagging behind others, and on the other it does not allow them to rise too high above the rest. In duets, of course, the strengths of one cover the weaknesses of the other – and vice versa.

By hook or by crook, previous unions and associations have shown that the composition of the team should always be balanced. This way, I have long been convinced that there can be no “wannabe comrades”; whether the person you’re stuck with pleases you or not, your duty is to learn each other’s abilities and to benefit from their interaction for the sake of the common good.

All the partners in the Akatsuki, no matter how much of extravagant ninja they were, they worked by the law of duty and responsibility. People in this organization are serious about at least one of those. They will not allow themselves to speculate on the orders they’re given, they behave calmly and take an active part in building up the economic and military power of Akatsuki. In this place, quiet behavior and self-limiting the amount of attention to oneself is an unwritten rule that everyone follows.

With this and that thought, my humble opinion on this matter had been peacefully drifting in my own worldview like a quiet island in the middle of the ocean.

However, as I have already said.

Everything in this world ends.

Having learned that a new partner was placed in my team in zero days after the last one perished – that is, at once after he died, – I was surprised, but did not waste time on questions that are coming, and began sedately looking forward for our first meeting as a team.

**And I meet _him_.**

Black hair.

Completely hidden body.

Orange mask over the whole face.

Like a monstrous tsunami hitting my tiny island of soul, this guy mercilessly carried away one after another all the stereotypes that had ever dared to sit in my head. Now the boundless dried desert stretches in their place.

It all happened suddenly.

So suddenly that I didn’t even have time to give consider my actions as well as the actions of this guy, dressed in all black and wearing a warm dark green scarf.

I witnessed a stunning phenomenon!

Crossing his arms, he pronounced, clearly piercing me with his eye from the only visible hole in his head:

“What do you think you’re doing?! Zetsu-san is my friend, you know!”

How did I end up in this situation? Everything happened in a bit way too idiotic way with several stages that preceded it, making it impossible to wrap it all in a few sentences and spill the tea right now.

“Are you aware it’s not allowed to attack your own folks here?! They might even kick you from Akatsuki for this!”

As if I haven’t had enough of it already!

...However, we will leave all the explanations, if not forgotten entirely, then at least for some time later.

As I mentioned, everything described in this situation is a matter of a clumsy case, which, unfortunately, was my fault. And the one who was unfortunated by it was also me.

Almost in plain text, the fate indeed as if warned: “Stop! Don’t get close to him!”. If I were to look into the future, then this forecast I would gladly listen. Just by looking back at the day we met I can vividly see everything sewn with white thread!

This boat sank while standing on the land! This rocket exploded while it was being constructed! This Rome has fallen before it paved the roads!

It’s impossible to work like that! Tell you what – I can’t even spend my non-working time sanely because neither socially established nor life-threatening boundaries are a thing to him! All of them for that guy are just some funny lines that he is ought to cross by softly tipping on them with his toe first, and then run and jump and establish his totalitarian dictatorship in my paltry hour of leisure!

That infuriating manner of speaking of his!

That helplessness of his!

That mask of his!!

**That him!!!**

He does everything he wants at any moment, like a lightning bolt, and for him I am a lightning rod that is taking all the hits! He maliciously frazzles me out, his very partner, because be there anybody else in my shoes and his dead body would be long placed somewhere undiscovered!

Whatever I do, wherever I go, there will always be echoes of the tricks of this nasty parasite!

Worst of all, he has zero respect for my art! At a certain moment, I was driven to the extent that I got ready to close my eyes on everything: rudeness, naughtiness, laziness, irresponsibility , that habit of maliciously crawling under my skin, and much more, but not disregard for what I value most of all people combined more than any food, more than my own life!

...Out of the blue, I was informed that my solo would soon regain its colors and turn into a duet. Without giving it a second thought, I took and accepted the offer, but I had no idea...

If only I already knew what I was signing up for, what I was giving my sacred permission to, and to which devil I was giving out my soul, I wouldn’t agree just to go along with this atrocity in my entire life!

...Sigh, though my opinion is placed somewhere between environmental issues and decision-making in terms of conservations regarding endangered animal species. Roughly speaking, say I: “No, no need, thank you, I’m better off on my own”, then it would still be concisely rephrased into “Yes”, and most likely my protest would be akin to a toothpick racket opposing titanic shuttlecock of fate. I can only assure myself that our meeting was probably an ordinary coincidence.

Thus, I met a guy named Tobi.

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this work is originally written in Russian. It takes time to polish the machine translation, and even with that I currently can't do a more sophisticated job on it. I only change things that either sound downright absurd (except the story itself) or words and sentences that I want to carry the meaning more precisely.


End file.
